Letter from John

        Hi, I’m John.  Short for Johnathon Carl Weninger.  One of my grandparents are Bob and Joni Laver.  Grandpa was a bit booked up this week (not to mention getting old), so I told him that I would write his column for him (even at my age my handwriting is better than his!). 

        I am officially 21 days old.  Actually, I’m not even supposed to be born yet.  My due date wasn’t for a few days or so but no offense mom, it was getting a bit cramped in there.  Plus, I guess I was upside down or something because this doctor kept trying to turn me round.  Can’t they leave a guy alone when he’s trying to sleep?  I was comfortable.  I guess Dad wasn’t real happy when they tried to move me (Dad’s pretty cool that way). 

        The next thing I knew, there was a hole in the ceiling and I was jerked out of there.  Talk about a bright light!  Can they not issue a guy a set of shades?  It was nice to finally meet the parents!  I have really cool parents, awesome grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousin.  I think I have all the names straight.

        I’m not sure, but I think I have an older brother named Simba. He doesn’t say much, but he has 4 legs and a tail and keeps staring at me.  I’m looking forward to the day I can jump on to the table like he does--cat like reflexives.  I want some of that.

        Being an infant is pretty demanding.  Most of my days are sleeping and eating and getting my diaper changed.  I love sleeping and cuddling.  At night I am wide awake.  For some reason, Mom and Dad don’t seem to be too thrilled at playing at 4 in the morning. Well, they’ll get use to it.  I may just have to switch over to day shift and see if that is better.

        I’ve got two amazing grandpas.  My dad’s dad owns an auto body shop and is an excellent car painter.  There wasn’t really anything to paint with in the womb, so when I get better at crawling I may try painting a wall.  I’m sure grandpa would give me pointers.

        My other grandpa is a preacher, so I’ve been hearing lots of Bible stories while I was on the inside.  I guess I have a Heavenly Father who made me while I was inside mom.  How cool is that?  He made my arms and legs.  I’m not sure what the belly button is for.  I guess that is one more questions I’ll ask when they teach me to talk.  Maybe Simba knows.

        I’m looking forward to meeting all of you.  Just a warning, if you want to hold me, the grandmas seem to want to “hog the baby.” I might smile at you, and if you’re good, I just might fill my diaper.

        Gotta go now.  I’m starved.  Where’s mom?